Wake Up Call

Monday, May 2, 2011

Last weekend, It's been really hard on me.
The whole things that happened between us
finally hit me on my face and take a big tool on me.
We were supposed to go for a holiday at Penang.
But it doesn't happen the way I planned.
I'm very much upset, again its something that I have to pay
for my own mistake.

I tried to make myself busy, I call my friends out.
Saturday,Sunday,Monday,Tuesday 31st April - 3rd May,
I was out the whole time. Am to Am.
They tried to make me laugh, we went for a movie,
we had a talk, we had so much fun.
But at the back of my mind, in my heart,
I can't help but not to stop thinking about you.
I miss you H, I really do.
I still, love you as much.

Two days ago, I got to hear you voice. I feel relieved.
And yesterday, I saw you; with someone new.
At that moment a sense of urgency awakened me.
I panicked and cried a whole lot inside,
wondering how we were at this place
The place we never wanted to be
Apart, apart from each other.

You warned me once, not to say hello to you
if i saw you with someone new. "Awkward" you say.
All I want to do yesterday is run to you and say hello to you
and hug you and hold you close in my arms.
But I have to keep all that in my heart.
I don't have the strength to look at you nor to look straight into your eyes,
because my heart will shatter into pieces, and I don't want tears to
start running down. Seeing you, reminds me of how much I need you,
how much I love you, how much I miss you.

Today I awoke and looked in the mirror
I looked different, empty, sad and scared

I said to Myself:
I'm alone and the one person I loved
with all my heart is gone

A feeling of emptiness and loss has come over me
Everyday I cry thinking of you with someone else
Someone else taking my place
the place I never wanted to leave
How could I have ever let this happen?
It's all my fault,
Why did I keep pushing you away, you say.

If you would have told me a month ago
that on this day I would be alone
I would have told you "you're crazy"
Now a month later I'm still alone thinking
How I let that one person who made all the
difference in the world to me get away
and how you will never coming back.

You have changed me forever
I will never forget you 'til the day I die
Where ever you are I really hope you are happy.
Maybe one day our paths will cross again
H, I miss you my GILA.