Sad Clown

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A good friend of mine,
called me yesterday night,
checking on me if I'm doing alright,
keeping up with the pain and heartbreak.
I can't help but wonder, how H is doing.

Without asking, she told me.
"Sayang, H is HAPPY now, H
feel much better and H feel lucky.
So please sayang, be HAPPY. Move on,
I don't want you to be upset and cry again
Accept the fact that H clearly don't need you anymore"

It's a slap to my face when I hear that.
I couldn't imagine, someone that I truly
love is doing much better without me in their life.
It crushes me to the ground. I don't want to
assume anything, I really hope that
wherever you are and whatever you do;
you are truly happy. That's what matter to me
the most now. For you, to be HAPPY.

What I learn from all this is that:
Never underestimate the pain of a person,
because everyone is struggling. Just that, some
people are better at hiding it than others.
Sometimes, I pretend to be HAPPY; to be a clown,
to make others HAPPY, just so I don't have to
explain why I'm not.

And for me, when you are in Love;
when you truly love someone, nothing matters
except the other person is HAPPY. Though,
you are not part of it.

You may see a smile on my face
But I assure you These are the Tears of A Clown. . .